18 years

Happy Anniversary honey!

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To my fav cowboy thanks for being with me today as you have the past 19yrs.

Today was our 18th wedding anniversary you were sorely missed

I worked as we had discussed in Feb when I was making out the schedule.

With the promise we still were having date night and off to a movie

I went to see the Lucky One…. definitely one for the collection….

“Start appreciating the memories you have and stop begrudging the ones you never got to make”

-this is probably one quote that totally struck me-

Appreciate life in the moment

Yes, someone dies.

“The Lucky One” is where you will find death, redemption and kisses in the rain.

I think this movie hit me in ways I never anticipated.

I believe the movie we planned all those months ago for our anniversary would have been a whole new meaning had

we seen this before you passed away.

I ended up crying thru out the whole movie.

I can’t explain the difference in how this movie would be perceived w/o one going thru the life changes in which I have.

I felt your presence today and thank you for this gift.

I found Wyatt Earp on Blue Ray for less than $10 so decided to get it

and that is what I watch tonight as I type up this blog post.

Guess you could say we are having a double feature kinda movie night.

I have been doing a lot of thinking over what life has handed us this year.

Looking back I can’t help but wonder if you went in this knowing

you had a high chance of not surviving.

Things you have said, done and research history on your computer

pretty much says it all.

All I can say is I love you and thank you.

I remember when you proposed your words:

you asked what was I gonna do with a broke cowboy that couldn’t give me more than his love and word to always take care of me…

I said keep him

You said you could do anything as long as I was by your side

I wish we could have beat this evil disease together as well

but it wasn’t meant to be.

Today was a first I never wanted to encounter

I made it thru yes with tears but with amazing memories

had from anniversaries past.

I have been edgy and I am sure the kids are wondering when

these moodswings will go away.  One moment i am great

the next not so much.

We leave in one month to go visit your family.  The kids are super excited about this.

Off to attempt that thing called sleep…wish me luck as Wyatt is nearly over so watching the

ending then to pop something mindless in that doesn’t take

brain power to think about 🙂  Good night my love may I always feel you around as I

have today.  If the Summerlands weren’t too far away, I know I’d visit you every day!

I miss and ♥ you

Tonight when I close my eyes I will be thinking of you!

As I sleep I will be dreaming of you, & when I open my eyes in the morning I will be thinking of you still

may the rain wash away my worries may the breeze blow new strength into my being may i walk gently through the world and know its beauty all the days of my life

And there has been plenty of rain lately beginning to wonder if Mother Nature should call in a plumber since the sky is still leaking… nothing like last year at least where everything was so flooded and you never got to use your fathers day gift…the boat… Kids say don’t worry they will make use of it this year 🙂

Okay for reals this time…good night…

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