6 weeks

Has it really been this long.

Tonight it feels longer and in some respects really it has been.

it is said that time heals all wounds,

they also say the bonds of the heart can out last time,

guess that explains why my heart still aches for you.

I remember it clearly..

The day you slipped away..

That was the day,

I found it won’t be the same..

I miss you

People say you do not know what you have got till it is gone.

Truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you would lose it.

Life is too short to be anything but happy.

Falling down is part of LIFE…

Getting back up is LIVING

I am trying to get back into the full swing of living

this week has been pretty hard emotionally.

Image

It was our wedding anniversary, our son broke his hand for the first time,

 fridge quit working, our dear friend that buried her own husband only a year ago was dx with breast cancer,

truck isn’t starting again, our oldest is asking me to

take her driving so she can get her license, Inger has made a responsible decision

in knowing she isn’t a dog person and Lucy deserves someone that is and has

listed her for a new home.  I know you knew this day would come

but was just equally proud of her to fight to keep her.

She wants to get a cat.

Thru it all you come to my mind of all that you aren’t here for

and that is when I get sad.  Weds I was soooo busy work wise

I didn’t have time to miss you

and this made me feel guilty.

One would think I would have been grateful for the break of that emotion

but all it brought was feelings of guilt…

guilty that I didn’t miss you, if we have a great day I feel guilty

thinking you missed this. I hate this emotional rollercoaster life has dealt.

One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go.

Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss, etc.

Change is never easy, you fight to hold on,

and then you fight to let go.

Throughout my life, I’ve lived, I’ve loved, I’ve lost, I’ve missed, I’ve hurt, I’ve trusted, I’ve made mistakes.

Most of all I’ve learned…

Apparently others too from our story

and if we helped others then at least losing you wasn’t for nothing

Maybe your leaving was to help others on their path in this crazy life

I have had so many emails and phone calls over the weeks thanking me/us

for changes in their lives as a result of watching what we went thru.

I will admit it I am jealous of the angels they may have you,

but you will never leave my heart.

Unexpected Destinations hold the promise of

Unexpected Experiences,

Unexpected Awakenings & ultimately

Unexpected Blessings!!

I am still waiting to find the unexpected blessing

of losing the most amazing thing next to our children that has happened

in my life.

looking up at the sky… hoping your looking back down… miss u and luv u with all my heart

tomorrow night is suppose to be one amazing fullmoon will be thinking

of you and the last fullmoon we witnessed earlier this year.

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