Grief Lessons continue

What is Grief?

That is part of what I have to explain in my own words this week

I do believe it is different and unique for everyone

Deep painful Sorrow for sure

I do feel grief can be any major disruption to ones life

whether the loss of a pet, moving from a location

I don’t think

it is only the death of a loved one though I do think personally it is

on the more painful side.

Grief I feel is emotional response that can and does affect not just feeling wise

but mentally, physically, spiritually, and behavior as I am definitely

witnessing that one in each of the kids as they take on their differing rolls themselves

in how they are dealing with the loss of their father.

Benjamin has anger issues

Kelda she doesn’t seem to care about much

Inger is doing pretty good she has done tons of art work

over the past weeks as that is how she copes with anything.

In many ways I feel like I started the grieving process when

we learned the cancer came back 6 months ago and somewhere deep down

I think I feared like Carl did that he wouldn’t survive this one.

The mere thought of the huge loss of him leaving

was anguish enough but to physically lose him

was even more than I could bare

and on many levels where I walked

talked and functioned I think it was in robot form.

Just doing what needed doing.

Spiritually I feel this has sent me on a

journey toward a new awareness

I want to be sure I know when he is here

as it is comforting…take this photo for instance

we have one last family photo together

totally not planned.  It was a quick shot by Carls sister

The ferry was crowded and we were trying to gather close.

Kelda made this purse just before he passed away after the knowledge

that it would be happening.

one side has him on it the other side a few of her senior pics with

her dog and horse.

it wasn’t until I posted it on FB to share with friends that hey look at me

I handed my camera over to someone else for a moment

to take a photo of me with the kids…

someone pointed out what a great shot having Carl in there as well…

He was there, he wanted a better last family photo

than us surrounding his death bed.

This photo brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes

but comfort to my heart.

We all experience loss of some sort

it is unique to each person what it is

just like the healing time is different for everyone.

However there is patterns of similarities for everyone.

This week also was mentioned to start a mason jar of happy moments

to be opened on New Years!

I do think this is a fabulous idea

Inger says we will need 7 of these jars and she is too lazy to write anything down

so maybe she will just draw stuff….

I love her comment in needing 7 jars meaning she plans on

many happy times the remainder of this year!!

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