What is Grief?
That is part of what I have to explain in my own words this week
I do believe it is different and unique for everyone
Deep painful Sorrow for sure
I do feel grief can be any major disruption to ones life
whether the loss of a pet, moving from a location
I don’t think
it is only the death of a loved one though I do think personally it is
on the more painful side.
Grief I feel is emotional response that can and does affect not just feeling wise
but mentally, physically, spiritually, and behavior as I am definitely
witnessing that one in each of the kids as they take on their differing rolls themselves
in how they are dealing with the loss of their father.
Benjamin has anger issues
Kelda she doesn’t seem to care about much
Inger is doing pretty good she has done tons of art work
over the past weeks as that is how she copes with anything.
In many ways I feel like I started the grieving process when
we learned the cancer came back 6 months ago and somewhere deep down
I think I feared like Carl did that he wouldn’t survive this one.
The mere thought of the huge loss of him leaving
was anguish enough but to physically lose him
was even more than I could bare
and on many levels where I walked
talked and functioned I think it was in robot form.
Just doing what needed doing.
Spiritually I feel this has sent me on a
journey toward a new awareness
I want to be sure I know when he is here
as it is comforting…take this photo for instance
we have one last family photo together
totally not planned. It was a quick shot by Carls sister
The ferry was crowded and we were trying to gather close.
Kelda made this purse just before he passed away after the knowledge
that it would be happening.
one side has him on it the other side a few of her senior pics with
her dog and horse.
it wasn’t until I posted it on FB to share with friends that hey look at me
I handed my camera over to someone else for a moment
to take a photo of me with the kids…
someone pointed out what a great shot having Carl in there as well…
He was there, he wanted a better last family photo
than us surrounding his death bed.
This photo brings a smile to my face and tears to my eyes
but comfort to my heart.
We all experience loss of some sort
it is unique to each person what it is
just like the healing time is different for everyone.
However there is patterns of similarities for everyone.
This week also was mentioned to start a mason jar of happy moments
to be opened on New Years!
I do think this is a fabulous idea
Inger says we will need 7 of these jars and she is too lazy to write anything down
so maybe she will just draw stuff….
I love her comment in needing 7 jars meaning she plans on
many happy times the remainder of this year!!