LOL here we are half way thru the first month of the new year
and not one new blog on here other than 2014 in review!
I sit here and stare and where my brain is jumbled with
junk floating around nothing makes sense or sounds good
when I see it on the screen so I sit here staring what to write
Yet on my Healthy Friends blog there is recipes
success stories DIY and such articles
on my personal fb account there is stuff
but then here ya here I am babbling when so many things
are going thru my mind.
When will summer be here
I am sick of the cold
-still wearing my sandals though
Getting my skinny fiber business up and moving again
learning more about network marketing and that
alone takes a lot of my brain power and focus
Kids are making me feel like I am going mental
1 adult daughter lost her id and has been trying
for mos to prove who she is so has moved
no job due to no id which means no money
At least she has a boyfriend I suppose but isn’t how
she was raised to depend on others.
1 teenage daughter that has her first job and has suddenly
become a jabber mouth and her sarcasm has gotten the best
of her the past week.
2 high energy sons non stop go go go
-thank goodness the essential oils will be here soon surely they are my saving grace-
FINALLY there will be a blog 😉
1 min total chaos next best buddies not sure if they are coming or going
can you really blame me?
husband love him but some days I have to just
smh and tell him to shut up and kiss me or he will tell it to me
-otherwise we are both stubborn enough to stand our grounds-
I had a bad pap last year have yet to have it checked out
I have insurance now and really need to do so
but then the what ifs set in and I decide nothing can
exist if I don’t know about them right?
Maybe not really but makes sense in my mind.
Gas prices going down daily and so many friends husbands are getting laid
off of work. Many have several loans, kids, etc
I love cheaper gas as much as anyone but not at the cost
of families without jobs that many may well lose everything
they have worked so hard to get
I’ve been having nightmares again and for the life of me
couldn’t figure out why are they resurfacing now…
now why NOW?
Then it dawned on me last night when yet again I woke
and had to check to be sure my husband was still breathing
Saturday will be the anniversary date in which we learned
the cancer was back with a vengeance for Carl -the kids dad- and our
worlds were turned upside down deeper.
Crazy how the brain recalls things and slaps you upside
the head and you have to sit there and figure out what the hell
I didn’t give permission for these memories to hit me out of the blue.
Granted all that occurred during the past few years led to where life is today
and I am loving life again but sadly
NOTHING can erase from my memory the shear horror
of the experience. You may move forward with life and live again
but never does your mind forget the visions it witnessed.
It has taken me a couple weeks to even figure out why these
maybe its a few things…timing of year, my husband is exhausted
from his work hours so I worry about his health, knowledge that at any
moment we too could be out of a job due to the instability of the O&G industry
Where he isn’t directly in the oilfield itself his field will eventually be affected-
it will trickle down-We’ve mos ago felt the effects of cut hours.
Is there a contract after this job who knows
right now I am grateful he has a job and with making our final rv pymnt
I am relieved and know that I can financially support us
should anything happen to his job.
BUT this is in part where I think some of
my nightmares are also coming from.
2 mos after debt was all paid off after a long road getting to that point
my late husband was dx with cancer and immediately was w/o a job and income.
Now you combine that history
with a little deja vu of right now circumstances surrounding the economy
my husband exhausted lately and I guess my mind can’t help but go there.
I know better than this!!!! Soooo I need to believe history is not
repeating itself and see the silver linings of all the good going on
All the positives and differences from past experience.