January

WOW hard to believe we are already 3/4 of the way thru this month!!

 

January 8th I signed on to be an independent contractor for Bella Baby Photography

LOVE♥LOVE♥LOVE

Of course can you think of a better way to wake up in the morning

and know you get to go meet a new life??

The parents of the babies are pretty cool too:)

I am still working my own business but this is def a nice addition.

 

Carl has been having issues the cycles continue only now he has

very little energy, no muscle, no strength, a 1/2 mile walk

wipes him for an entire afternoon.  He went in last week

for lab work and some tests are coming back super low.  Waiting

on a few more tests then the dr. will work on a plan of what to do next.

 

Kids are well.  Ingers new fascination is nomes.

Kelda has had her head buried in books.

Benjamin now that he is back on his banana a day regimen is doing

much better. We took him off to work with the blood type

diet…well it has to be modified based on other issues

you may have as well.  The banana helps his body rid

of the extra heavy metals that his body otherwise can’t rid of.

I think that is about it for now…

have a great rest of the month:)

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

It most definitely is as many know the ct scan came back free from cancer!!!!

There have been blessings abundant this season

some angels and santa’s helpers that have all made this

a great Christmas not just for the kids but for us as well

Memories made

So to end this crazy year:

over the past few weeks

we found an rv park -with openings- that we can semi afford,

Carls tests came back no cancer and doesn’t

need to go back for 3 months,

the kids got some gifts on their wish lists,

that alone was the best gift I as a mom could have gotten

a HUGE thank you to Santa for visiting them in person

and delivering them I think it went a long

way to helping after what this year has brought.

Santa’s helper and amazing angel that whispered in Santa’s ear

you have no clue how much you mean to our family.

I know this particular angel has been let down in the past

by the human nature that took advantage

of her generous heart in giving and giving, but I hope she

knows just how amazing she is and how much she is loved

THEN as we are nearing the new year and knowing

I will undoubtedly need to find a job of sorts as Carl won’t be able

to just yet as he continues to heal from treatments

I got a job that I will be able to work MY business

and get it off the ground and still doing what I love.

The New Year has not yet begun but I already feel as if it will

be a great year!!

Merry Christmas to all and if I don’t blog

again until after the new year

have a great rest of this one and may

you have many blessings!!

 

 

 

Feeling Optimistic

Incredibly hard to explain…

When Carl went in nearly 7 months ago (next Tuesday)

I had a nagging feeling something was wrong

Today he had his fullbody CT scan

I don’t know if it is wanting it to be so

or if truly the scan will be a clear and free results.

THAT would be the most ultimate gift ever

what a way to end this year and begin 2011.

In a way I need to send an open THANK YOU for being a jerk to Carls EXboss

Mr. Gary Landers of Elite Towing

For all the grief from numerous bounced payroll checks,

non payment of our insurance, non payment over

the last few years to Social Security, the countless hours my husband

put into your business whom gave selflessly of himself not only because

we had goals, a family to feed and care for, bills to pay

but he rides for the brand until the brand ain’t paying anymore.

Technically guess he wasn’t paying for some time if

you count paychecks bouncing. Pretty sad when you

get the employees to the point of waiting to grab that

check on payday and race to see who can be first to not their bank

but that which the paycheck is drawn on so they can be sure to

get THEIR hard earned money.  The denial of our trying to get unemployment

in the early days after Carl was diagnosed with cancer…it would have

gone a long way to helping us out financially…$1600/mo was far

more than the measly well less than $800 we have had to try and raise

our family of 5 on this year.

So why would I thank a jerk like this…

For oh so many reasons

Primarily the cancer came at such a time we were at the

end of our rope w/this company but had a goal to begin fulltime RVing by fall

so was sticking it out.

Here is to hoping plans will get back on track soon.

Perfect Storm

That is the best way to describe it!

The Beast saved our lives!

We went back and forth Thursday night to go or not go

I had a photo shoot for Bozeman on Saturday

Billings was finally getting first snow

We checked road reports

called local friends

we checked webcams even for areas that had one

Bozeman pass clear roads dry

It was slick from Billings to Columbus

swapped let Carl drive as he is better trained

for such situations

Made Big Timber met with customer there

parking lot was slick and getting into parking spot nearly

hit a car but luckily didn’t

again questioned do we continue or turn around

decided to continue on it would probably clear up soon

Yeah not so much

7 miles outside of Livingston we hit what could be

called the “perfect storm” someone was telling us

2 storm fronts colliding with winds from

2 differing directions, ice and though we were only going

50mph we started sliding on the ice.

Carl did his best and did all the right things for the situation

to prevent a spin out

but in the end before we really knew what hit us

our truck was on its side off the road.

Before I go any further I will say no other vehicles were involved

we were all wearing our seatbelts and some of us just have

some bruising we are all ok just shaken up a bit.

Today is 6 months since we found out about the cancer

Tuesday was his last radiation treatment

the only thing thru our minds was are you flippin serious??

We have driven in worse than this storm produced

The guy behind us saw us sliding and started slowing down

traffic he was in a box truck

He along with others stopped to help

called MHP got them out there by the time I was finally able to

get out of the truck.

I remember sliding, Carl cussing, vaguely remember hitting

and yelling for the kids to remain calm

I remember Inger frantically saying she can’t

unbuckle her seatbelt

remember a sigh of relief that I saw her get out the back window

next Kelda was out though I don’t recall her getting out

her dog Zander tugged at her hoodie on her jacket

Not sure if he was trying to get her out

or if she blacked out for a moment

as she doesn’t remember anything but holding

him tight to keep him from getting

all excited and trying to remain calm

so that he would be calm

and then I think Carl as I don’t remember

him ever getting out

only person in the truck with me left was Benjamin

as then the next thing I remember was him screaming he was stuck

My heart sank fearing the worse

turned out he couldn’t unbuckle his seatbelt

Turns out our back window latch busted on inpact

and Paige our wonderful dog nudged the window

open and drug Inger out

then went near the highway barking like maybe she

was flagging for help??  But people I guess were already

stopping to help and see that we were okay.

This in turn gave Kelda and her dog room to move

and get off Benjamin as he was behind driver seat

we landed on driver side down

Finally Benjamin was out!

I was the only one left inside upside down

couldn’t reach my buckle but even if I could have

and pressed the button I would have fallen and

gotten hurt further.  A couple guys were helping as was

Carl to get me out safely as possible..  they helped hold me  while

I braced my foot against dash so when Carl

released my buckle I didn’t fall

Carl took control of the situation the wrecker driver

in him took over it was like this switch flipped on

and for the first time in 10yrs he has done this

line of work I got to see what he did first hand

he has never had to help his own family so I am sure

it was nerve wracking on him.

Behind us was awesome people that stopped.

A gentleman driving a box delivery truck helped

slow traffic he and bring our stuff to town and another gentleman on his

way to Plains MT gave us rides to our destination.

I can’t say thank you enough to these people!!!

the one that had the girls even got them lunch while he made his

last delivery and then offered us his cabin

however being w/o a vehicle and the distance

from town it is we didn’t feel right going to have to rely on them or someone

to take us in and out as needed.  We are grateful that the offer

is there should it still be needed.

Luckily with Carls knowledge he turned

the engine off immediately and we have a cut

off switch to the fuel and he got that

turned off so hoping we avoid any serious

damage.  Carl thinks the engine could

be damaged.

new tail light needed

Until a few minutes ago it wouldn’t start

We have desperately been searching for a small car

then thanks to a wonderful friend

outside of the moment thought about repriming

the diesel THAT was it!!  THANK YOU Lane/DJ ♥ you!

The outpour of friends

1 who called in his AAA for a tow

another that paid for her session next month early

and brought it to the hotel

another our mechanic who came not once

but twice and maybe will be a 3rd time

to try and get our truck started

brought us a battery charger and then said it was ours to keep!

one that came by to offer to take me to the grocery

store so I could grab some food!

You don’t realize how many friends

you may have until a time of need arises and then

it really makes you sit back and say wow

Thank you is not enough but for now it is

what I have!!

The perfect storm brewed up the perfect

situation for those friends to come

out when we needed them.

It was a reminder that when life

may dish out lemons sometimes it also provides the sugar.

needs new door

Had I paid attention to the messenger animals sent to us just the day prior

we never would have made this trip but thinking back

to the animals that crossed our paths

I know they were there to say we know what

the choice is going to be but you will be taken care of

So now hopefully tomorrow we will find out if the truck

can safely make it back to Billings or if we are still

on the search for a car.

I know everything will work out as it should

I don’t know why this happened yet

but I am sure we will be shown the light

in the near future!  Thanks to all that

have helped it has been appreciated greatly

DONE

WOOHOO yesterday was last treatment…we will come back to that but had to get that excitement out:)

It has been a long couple of weeks since I last posted.

Lets see there has been wisdom teeth removal, severe pains from that went back pain meds weren’t working because she apparently doesn’t do well with NSAIDS like her father.  They gave her other pain meds which sent us to same day care center thinking she may have an appendicitis on top of everything else…only to discover the 800mgs of ibuprofen she was given was causing her grief at least that is the current verdict.  She is still having pains but not as severe.  So that is being watched

Carl went back to the ER on last Friday they shot him up with 8mg of morphine…OUCH yeah we were there from 1:30ish to 8:30 he didn’t start to wake up until 7:20 is when I walked into the room and he was just kinda coming to.  they did his x-rays and such with him zonked on his butt.

We found a place on 1 1/2 acres a week or so ago only to discover yesterday that the guy is having to go thru an eviction process to get the people out and it is now not available until Jan. 1st at the earliest.  Initial conversation was Dec. 1st but he can’t even proceed to get them out until Dec. 17th.  So the search is back on for a house or a place to park the RV:/  That is ok I was starting to have weird feelings about it and the location wasn’t sitting just right but who knows maybe it was timing not right.  The right place/situation will come along soon enough.  If nothing else comes thru since Business is picking up slightly enough to supplement we can afford an RV park at least now.  Never thought I would say we couldn’t afford at least that much but that has indeed been the case the past several months.  We have made do with resources guided our direction and for those little here and there helps we have survived and I am feeling an end of this long road coming to an end.

My…ok okay OUR… baby girl turns 16 in just eighteen short days.  I use to joke asking her when was she turning 18 again so I could be sure to have her going away party all set and ready, cash in hand to help her fill her tank and bags packed…now that that age is creeping closer to our doorsteps I am saddened that it is so close.  No it doesn’t mean she has to move out and in fact she can stick around.  In all honesty she is an amazing girl and figuring out what she wants…I am sure that it will change slightly as she gets into some of these things and she further figures out things that is or isn’t going to work in her life.  I am saddened that her last years before turning 18 we went from her father working 24/7 for nearly 10 yrs to being sick with cancer and fighting that off.  But at the same time I know it is shaping who she is to be and what she is to do.  She is just happy he is around to see her turn 16.  I think she realizes we are lucky he is still here.  She is my researcher if we don’t tell her something she will find the answers.

Inger and Benjamin are doing ok.  Benjamin still has some days of acting out esp on days Carl feels his worse.  He gets scared and worried when he sees this but there is nothing that can be done.  Having autism it is harder than for the girls as he can’t fully understand.  Inger is making out her Christmas list.

While I am at it as I know some family/friends have asked what do the kids want or interests for Christmas:

Kelda anything to do with books, ipods, music, guitars, horses, Twilight or Harry Potter she will be in love.  clothes best if you want to help in that dept to send gift cards for stores like Target or Walmart or something sadly she has my side of the family hips and some jeans fit better than others no set size.  OH or Debs this is her new favorite store…even Inger likes it here:)  Also anything to do with baking.  She is leaning towards going to pastry school.

Inger ART supplies…she loves drawing and has amazing talent!  Oh and clothes she is my clothes monkey she is a girls 16 slim now or jr.s 3/4 I think it was.  KHOLs is her newest fav place.  She said it is the best thing since she outgrew Gymboree which was a sad day for us both.

Benjamin he still loves his cows, tractors, cars.  Has added sheep to his mix this past few months and wants to find a farmer that has a bum lamb next spring.  Wrangler jeans is all he will wear and he is a boys 16!!  I just can’t believe he is nearly out of boys clothes where does the time go??!!

Ok now back to Carl lol.  He had his last Radiation treatment on Tuesday:)  Dr.s words were get as far from this place as you can and stay the hell away from here as long as you can!  Sadly he still has iv fluids for another week see how he is doing a week off from everything if all is going well then see one of his other dr.s for labs and follow up.  Mid December he will see his rads dr. again for ct scans and follow ups there.  For now that is all that is on the books.  Still seems like a lot but then at the same time it is drastically less than the past few months so I welcome the “break” no matter how small it may be.  He was placed on Morphine ER 30mg tablets due to the amount of pain and Hydrocodone was no longer helping and only making him more and more nauseas so now he will be in a stoned like state the next 10 days minimum but has 30 days worth, but was told the next 10days or so would be his roughest patch now that rads are done could be longer.

Dogs are doing well.  We are off to Bozeman as I have shoots this weekend.  Had several for this weekend then everyone suddenly realized it was the BIG Cat/Griz game and called to reschedule for Dec.  So the couple that was left I rescheduled them too for Dec only for today to get a last min. urgent call for senior session that they MUST be in by Dec. 1st so we are back to Bozeman.  It will be nice to see everyone now and again in a couple weeks 🙂

So that is all I have for now.  Been busy.  Business is picking up:) and right now I am feeling very positive about the outlook of our future though I have no clue where it is going.

2nd Home

That is much what hospitals are becoming it seems

a 2nd home so to speak

only my bed is WAY more comfortable than this chair bed contraption

2 a.m. I was awakened after having barely gotten to sleep

Carl was in worse pain than before

around 2:30ish called the on call doc from cancer center

they returned our call and said take him

to ER sounds like he is impacted.

Get all checked in by 3:30 a.m.

bloodwork, xrays, ct scan tests results 4hrs later

admitting into hospital.

To those that are delusional that you go to a hospital to get

sleep and rest…yeah let me let you in on

that one…you don’t rest and no sleep for the wary.

I think the alarms on machines are set to go off

purposely knowing JUST when you are nodding off!

Oh and of course there is your vitals that must be taken so they

are scheduled sometime after that you know

after you start to go to sleep again

and my personal fave…why are labs at about 4 a.m.?? like clockwork

and apparently no hospital is immune to these issues

OH and the loved ones that choose to for whatever

reason stick around by your side.. you get about as

much sleep with all this commotion so 2nd home

really?? yeah I think I got more sleep when the kids were babies!!

So looking like another 24hrs of this shall see

looks like colitis, there is blood in the stool again, he is backed up in that dept

possible bacteria infection, waiting on more recent lab

results to come in they are watching for

possible bowel perforation which can happen

with radiation treatment.

good morning err good night err yeah have a great one!

Hope to know more soon

for now they say “home is where the heart is”

and well here is where my soul mate is so home it shall be for now

2nd Week Checkup

Today was the 2 week checkup.

He sees his dr. only once a week and Tuesdays happen to be that day.

So we were early which we are learning it is best

it is a madhouse around there so early is better

There is some concerns because he is constipated

not normal for radiation usually opposite effect

the leg cramps also not common so

after seeing 2 doctors today it has been decided

his body may not be absorbing all the water and or magnesium

So just keeping eyes on these

adding a couple supplements

Vit D is low even though he is on supplements

So just another thing we watch

Due to his always being a lack of a tanner tanning bed

is not really an option as skin cancer would be the next bigger fear

rather than his D vitamin levels are low.

So some more guessing games other wise today was a better day than yesterday